short bus, hashtags and wax lips, oh my

I went to my first blog conference a couple of weeks ago. It really rocked. I set some goals for myself:

GOAL 1:

Move to a 3-column layout so I can do more affiliate marketing. I found this really cool theme I wanted called Coraline, but it’s not available yet through the “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’m too I.T. short bus to upload a theme myself so I have to wait until the WordPress Fairy will do it automatically with a click of a button” button. Until then, I picked this one. It’s got lots of nice features and all, but I just DON’T DO ROYAL BLUE. Ick. (No offense Indianapolis Colts).

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39 and the freshman 15

Some people go to college and gain the dreaded “Freshman 15.” Not me. I’m already college-educated so I can get that shit knocked out in one short summer. Boo. Ya. (Ok, so technically, not quite 15, but close enough to slide into a nice warm bath of guilt and failure) In truth, I was giving myself permission to temporarily fail. I just didn’t expect to be such a fucking over-achiever.

Including tonight, I have only been to 3 WW meetings since June. Since that time, I’ve managed to glob 13.0 pounds onto my ass and other cellulite-enhanced locations. However, I’m genuinely surprised with how at peace I am with it. I credit most of the self-accepting mo-jo to knowledge that I’m on a journey and if I didnt’ screw up, I wouldn’t learn as much. I also know that blogland is a wonderfully accepting place for being perfectly imperfect. Finally, it’s motivating to know that today, I’ve been totally on program. It makes it MUCH easier to face the sad sad music of Gain: The Musical when I know that today – being the only day I can control right now – I’ve made great choices.

So that’s where I’m at. Up 13 pounds.  My weight loss has dwindled from a 52.9 pound loss to only 39.8. And honest and truly? It’s all good.

I had a craving. And tonight’s meeting really hit the spot.

wanna know a secret?

I took my sleep meds about a half-hour too soon. But I’m jonesing to get a post in every day this month as part of my #TWITPERMINT. I would be more lame than usual if I failed on day 2. So, here goes!

((Feeling like Dorothy staring at the hourglass sand and running out of time. Minus gingham. Plus ass. Minus flying monkeys too, even though I think it’d be nifty fun to have one.  Maybe I could get a different monkey then, like those freakin’ adorable marmoset pygmy monkeys. Who the hell would want a yippy chihuahua if they could get one of these pygmy pets?)) 

((…steering short bus back on road…))

Most of the blogs I read are about weight, humor, and sex. I know, you’re shocked, right? Right. My blog is more Manic-pa-looza 2010. I hope that with time, my voice will find the consistency I see in others, like The Bloggess. She is currently #1 in my girl-crush department (I was going to say “pole position” but that sounded too falic and would kind of defeat the point of being of a hetero/breeder making lesbian nuances)). That said, there are still some posts I’ll write and afterwards, be so proud that I’ll start hunting around the house to find scratch and sniff “Good Job” stickers to wear on my nipples. Kinda like underwire support, but different.

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