Turns out I missed class the day in 1993-2007 when they announced that pubes were passé. Porn, the litmus test of pube trends, was completely out of my life with BetaHusband (BH) because of his inability to stroke strike a balance. He saw porn as more of an intimacy replacement than enhancement. I wasn’t having any of that. Literally. But once the Retardo Montabon of sexuality and I parted ways, I started to put the pieces together; I’m like the CSI of Snatch Patches, baby!
MEN I WAS CONSIDERING DATING: “How would you describe your hairstyle?”
ME (CONSIDERING RECOMMENDING LASIKS) : “Short but feminine. Sassy and messy.”
Some were turned on. Some were turned off. None of us realized that we were having two completely different conversations.
Finally after enough clues, I was ready to grab some dirty girl talk.
(((DRAGGING GIRL WHO TALKS ABOUT HER SEX LIFE OPENLY AND FREQUENTLY INTO OFFICE BATHROOM)))
ME: “Is it true that it’s popular to not have any pubic hair?”
TALKER: “Hell yez.”
ME: “Since when?”
TALKER: “Years.”
ME: “ALL of it?”
TALKER: “Hell yez.”
ME: “Why not leave some? Seems kinda of pedofile-y.”
TALKER: “It’s easier than making shapes.”
ME: “Oh.”
I wanted to have a pretty kitty so I called up a salon and set up a waxing appointment. $50 and mediocre discomfort later, I had a naked set of lips. It felt SO weird. I couldn’t stop touching myself. Not because I was aroused, it was just freaky to be petting little cute Telly Savalas Siamese Twins.
I wouldn’t wax again though. It just costs too damn much. Hell, I feel wild and crazy for buying the razor that has the deodorant-looking shaving stuff right there on the razorhead.
SOME OF THE NEWER OPTIONS I’M AVOIDING:
VAGAZZLING: BEJEWELLING FOR VA-JAY-JAYS
THE MERKEN: A REMOVABLE AREA RUG
Today, my “hairstyle” really varies. Hell, I have hair on my legs that I somehow manage to miss despite the fact that I’m shaving every most some days. Not only is this a total statistical improbability, but these are hairs that grow in areas that I can actually see! I’m defintely looking forward to losing enough weight that I can groom my pubes in the shower without doing a horribly insensitive impersonation of Helen Keller.
“To me, a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious of Persian rugs.” – Helen Keller
I started my blog after my ass had stopped shrinking and I thought it would 
Fun post, but I’m feeling a little down that no man I was ever considering dating asked me about my hairstyle. Of course, I would’ve had the other conversation in mind, too, and I probably would’ve wondered about a relative stranger putting that much priority on the issue, but still…I can’t help but feel a little left out.
I once did a post on pubic grooming, and I was surprised how many women didn’t do ANYthing and even more, how many women were uncomfortable even reading the post, much less joining in the discussion.
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To be fair, I used the term “dating” rather loosely. In reality, I just wanted a body buddy that wouldn’t get emotionally attached. You probably only were dating the deep, intellectually oily boy hunk types.
When I meet men with a specific opinion on either my pubic hair or head hair, I run the other way. LORD KNOWS what else he’ll be opinionated about.
I never go bare. Ever. I hate how it looks, don’t like how it feels. My life is not a porn movie… but damn I wish it was cause the pool needs to be cleaned and the cable is out and…….
Curvy, you made me snort. I actually had to hand my phone to MyGuy so he could see what I was snorting about. Thanks!
I have to tell you that I wrote a draft post about a very different take on the same hairy topic:) But was afraid to post it. Now that you have paved the way, it may just show up on my blog someday!
And can I just add…. OUCH!
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As for the ouch, I was ocmparing the pain to laser hair removal. I’d rather have a root canal that go through that. The laser stuff didn’t even work for me. I went for over a year and accomplished nada. Still a hairy beast. GRRR and SIGH.
This is effin awesome!
Effin! Awesome!
-jafg
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That is a huge compliment coming from you. Thanks! You’re a comedic genius. WOOT!
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good for you for being brave enough to get the wax!!! i think it would be awesome and feel great except for the ouch affect it would have on the tenders lol
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Ginger, I think it really depends on who you have do it. I wouldn’t compare it to, say, going for ice cream, but it was only slightly annoying.
I want a real woman, not an 8-year old or a plucked chicken, so I ask about hairstyles, even though I must admit it is very awkward at times.
Way to Go Bill! I’m very grateful MyGuy prefers a more mature look, ha.
I heard about some young guys at my old high school going completely smooth…now THAT I don’t understand. And guys really ask about it!?!? Now that creeps me out!!! And as for this being the “thing” for a long time, I just don’t get it and I didn’t know either…I can see keeping the curleys under control but going completely smooth…nah…but hey whatever floats your boat.
You’re paving the way for the hard hitting conversations…pubes! I waxed for years, but then gave it up because the razor burn like bumps were so ugly. I even used this product called Tend Skin and it didn’t work. Plus it just plain hurts! THEN, I discovered hard wax. Instead of using the strip wax where they put a strip of cloth over the wax, the wax hardens in place and it attaches to just the hair, so you’re not pulling skin AND hair. It still hurts, but like 70% less. Still though…the ingrown hairs are a bitch and now I just trim it neat so it’s not full on wild bush. And now…the internet knows what my hoohah looks like…in theory
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