short bus, hashtags and wax lips, oh my

I went to my first blog conference a couple of weeks ago. It really rocked. I set some goals for myself:

GOAL 1:

Move to a 3-column layout so I can do more affiliate marketing. I found this really cool theme I wanted called Coraline, but it’s not available yet through the “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’m too I.T. short bus to upload a theme myself so I have to wait until the WordPress Fairy will do it automatically with a click of a button” button. Until then, I picked this one. It’s got lots of nice features and all, but I just DON’T DO ROYAL BLUE. Ick. (No offense Indianapolis Colts).

GOAL 2:

Post more often. So far so good, but I’m seriously out of time to go and read the blog bitchings of my fellow funny peeps. I so don’t want to be THAT girl that when she calls you up all she wants to do is talk about the wart on the bottom of her foot and then you’re all like “Wow. Sounds rough. My house is being foreclosed on.” and she was like “it even has a black hair coming out of it” and you’re like “Ewe, if that were me, I’d get it checked out by the doc, except for right now I couldn’t since we can’t afford the Cobra cause my husband lost his job so we don’t have any insurance” and she’s like “Do you think insurance would pay for me to get my tits done? I have this shirt that would look so much better with a D cup?”  Yeah, THAT girl. How do you find the balance between reading and writing?

GOAL 3:

Get on Twitter. I rented a studio apartment in Twit-ville and I’m trying to get a couple hundred roomies. I’m up to 188 followers. May not sound like much; I’d prefer to think of it as a 2350% increase. SQUEAL! Does anyone else find themselves accidentally incorporating #s into their emails and blogging? Help, I’m on auto-hash!  EEK!

SHAMELESS PLUG FOR CURRENT GIVEAWAY

Speaking of tweeting, did you know that all you have to do to enter my TWEET-PERIMENT is to @RNTGirl me or #Tweetperiment?  Do it 100 times a day and get 100 entries. I’d be worried about your quality of life, but hell to the yeah I’d give ‘em to you!  New giveaway every day in September. Whose life wouldn’t kick more ass with lame special prizes like:

• Candy Buttons
• Wax Lips
• World’s Best Beyotch Gum

Where the fuck is that Vanna bitch when you need her??? Then, at the end of the most amazing month ever, one of my 30 weiners will get a $20 Amazon Certificate!

Gonna wrap this post up. So I can do what you might ask? Clean house? Exercise? Molest my husband? Nope. Nope. And hopefully later. For now, I’m heading out to the blogiverse for a night with my girls. I can’t wait to laugh my head off. Or at least leak a little.

See you soon!